Oh, bitches. The hour is upon us. Okay, maybe the hour won’t be upon us until January, 2011, but the fact that it will soon be upon us is nothing short of nut-busting awesome.
That’s right, the iPhone is going to Verizon. I’ve got dance fucking fever about this news, but now that I’m coming back to reality, I have a pretty intense decision making process ahead of me.
I had every intention of shelling out over $600 to upgrade my shit to iPhone 4. Luckily, the hand of Jesus (real Jesus. Like Jim CaJesus. Not Eric Jesus) plucked my wallet from my pocket and threw it on the ground. Thinking it had been stolen, I canceled my debit and credit cards before I received word that an Apple Store employee found it, contents intact. I still haven’t received my new cards yet, so I’ve had no opportunity to go trade in my firstborn and the left side of my penis to be able Skypefuck with other iPhone 4 users. Then, magic time. Today, we receive the most earth conscious gift since MJ recorded ‘Heal the World’.
One question remains. What the fuck do I do?
To give a little background, my first iPhone contract started in June of 2007 with the release of the bulky, beautiful original iPhone. I had her hot ass until November, 2009 when the touch screen decided that I wasn’t fingering her quite right anymore. At this point, I got a new contract and scored my iPhone 3GS. In April, 2010, I got punched, like, five times on the subway and the douchebag made off with my phone. I spent the full price to get another 3Gs and two months later, iPhone 4 was released. I still have until November, 2011 to fulfill my contract.
Luckily, my dad’s gung-whore on taking my iPhone and it seemed like a good way for me to get a cheaper iPhone 4. Now, we have this Verizon sitch. What the fuck do I do?
Options:
- Get a Verizon contract now and ride out with a Droid until January when I can rock the iPhone 4. Give iPhone 3GS to Dad.
- Get a Verizon contract now and ride out with a Droid until next summer when I can rock the iPhone 5. Give iPhone 3GS to Dad.
- Say, “Sorry, Dad, but lick my nuts.” Keep current phone and give him the phone in January at which point I’ll get a Verizon contract and rock the iPhone 4.
- Say, “Sorry, Dad, but lick my nuts.” Keep current phone and give him the phone next summer at which point I’ll get a Verizon contract and rock the iPhone 5.
- Get Boost mobile.
Tell me what to do! Any one of those decisions is going to hurt and I’ll document my journey to Verizon iPhone through all of its dramatic twists.
E
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I would stick with at&t on the 3gs until you know whats happening. The people that reported that the jesus phone is coming to verizon have reported it every couple of weeks and the timeline is always different.
it was suposed to be this month, mid summer, fall, winter, then it was next summer, and now January.
This will not be public info until apple announces it, and/or some jerk steals it from someone at a bar.
wait out the storm. Stay strong.
-sent from my iPhone 4
Since I work at a cell phone company I have an opinion may or may not work cuz I dunno what at&t does. But @ tmobile u can do what’s called a change of responsibility which if u and the other person both agree u can transfer ur contract over to their name. They become responsible for the remainder of the contract and take over pick whatever services they want and whatnot. It’s not a cancel so there is no fee. Not unless the new responsible party doesn’t finish the contract in which case it would not affect u anyway becuz u r no longer responsible for it. So whoever wants to do that w/ u as long as they qualify and are 18 years or older gets to be a new cust w/o activation fee, or a full 2yr contract (since u already did some) and the option of taking ur iphone if u want to give it or sell it to them for a discount or whatever u need to do to bribe them to take the contract. So what this means for you is “freedom”… goodbye contract. U may wanna call them and ask em if they do anything like that. THEN u can get verizon whenever u want. Btw is that new iphone all clear like???? Cuz that’s just badass.
capitalize “D” in dad if you’re going to tell him to lick….