Do you remember the great flick Subtle Seduction? Man, I hadn’t even heard of that shit until I was procuring music by, um, less than conventional means. I saw a thumbnail of the poster in an advertisement and thought, “Damn. That looks really familiar!”
I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t immediately know what the sloppy people at the marketing department of Nferno Productions had used as inspiration for their classy flick directed by Christopher Nolen (no shit). I would certainly want to emulate one of the best films of all time in my marketing materials.
That’s right. This poster is clearly taken from the legitimate Oscar contender and my personal favorite film of 2009, Obsessed. Schaech it out, bitches:
'Obsessed' poster via Film Gordon
The look from the woman on the left. The crossed legs of the woman on the right. The black and white lettering. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but I’m inclined to beat some bitches down over the fact that some cheap ass film rebranded itself (it was released in 2008) to capitalize upon the success of a stellar piece of cinema.
Or is there a lesson to learn here? It’s ironic that this film is called Subtle Seduction, because it’s actually one of the most subtle forms of film rip-offery in recent memory. The film is only an imitation of Obsessed in poster form, and is otherwise just some generic thriller. It has nothing on the mockbusters of C. Thomas Howell. The former The Outsiders star has continued to stay just above the double-Z list by ripping off mid-range high profile flicks like The DaVinci Code (The DaVinci Treasure), The Day the Earth Stood Still (The Day the Earth Stopped), and The Land That Time Forgot (Land of the Lost). Though C. Thomas Howell missed out on this one, who could forget the sweet action that was Transmorphers?
Career change! Clearly there’s money to be made in ripping off films, but instead of taking the mockbuster route, Eric Jesus Grimm is going to start doing the Mockscars. Okay, maybe it needs a different genre name, but the idea would be to create flicks which capitalize on the success of relevant Oscar winning films. Potential titles include Alleycat Billionaire, Very Little Stretch of Land for Geriatrics, The Absented, Smash, and $999,999 Infant. I think I’ll be doing a service to others in addition to myself. While I’ll clearly be making some fat motherfucking stacks (even though I’ll be missing out on the mad appeal of Crackspine Plateau) I’ll be introducing the plots of these legitimate, if impenetrable flicks to the masses who might have otherwise been turned off by their classy nature.
You’re so entertained. I’m so paid. Thank you Subtle Seduction. You’ve opened my eyes to the beauty of mediocrity just as Obsessed opened my eyes to the evils of white women. Hollerrrr.
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